One of my favorite shows on Prime Video is The Boys. While it seems like just another superhero show on the surface, if you look past all the violence, politics, and chaos, it’s actually pretty insightful about human nature. One character in particular that caught my attention was Homelander. He is by far the most powerful superhero in the show, but also strangely the most empty.
Despite his power, he constantly seeks validation from those around him. He craves attention. He needs people to worship him and tell him how great he is. Because if we’re being honest, he feels lonely. He feels disconnected from others. If someone doesn’t show him immediate loyalty, he will intimidate, anger, or get rid of them. Even people close to him eventually see past his public persona. What really stuck out to me, was how much he wanted people to call him GOD. Not because he felt like he was the best at what he did. But because he felt weak inside.
The more I watched this show, the more I realized that this isn’t fiction. This is life. We see it every day. People who cover their insecurity with positions of power or authority. People who cover their loneliness with money, status, influence, abuse, or control. They throw their weight around and expect everyone to listen because deep down they feel small. The problem is, the more attention you get for putting other people down, the more you accept that behavior from others. It’s like everyone is screaming over each other just to be heard.
What many people don’t realize is that the louder they get, the quieter their soul becomes. The problem with seeking external validation is that once you get it, it’s rarely enough. One more follower. One more like. One more instagram story. One more fancy car. One more award. One more pound on the bench. They will never be enough until you are enough. Until you find happiness and security within yourself.
So how do we combat becoming Homelander? How do we chase influence in the world without becoming emotionally void and lonely? I believe it begins with three things.
First, people have to learn how to get real with themselves. Too many people spend their lives avoiding who they truly are on the inside. Rather than face the pain, they bury it. Rather than deal with insecurity, they mask it. Instead of confronting trauma, rejection, or loneliness they throw on a smile and act like it never happened. You can hide behind a persona of success. You can mask it with money or status. You can cover it up with relationships or even intimidation. But before we can heal, we have to be honest with ourselves about where we are in life. You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge.
Second, we have to truly connect with people. Not followers. Not “fans”. Not people that look up to us. Real people. Relationships that allow us to be vulnerable and speak honestly without having to pretend like we have our lives together. So many people are addicted to the appearance of having it all together on social media but are dying on the inside. We have become a society full of people who know how to present a brand, but have no clue who they are away from that brand.
Some of the happiest people I know have the least amount of followers. The most interesting people I know don’t have 3 million people listening to their every word. Some of the most influential people in the world you’ve never heard of. Real people building genuine relationships with other real people. That is where we learn to feel comfortable with who we are. That is where we are reflected for who we are on the inside. And third, we need purpose that doesn’t revolve around us. When we make ourselves the center of everything we do, we will burn ourselves out.
That’s why faith, service, family, mentorship, community, and helping others is so important. When we realize that life is bigger than us, we can find fulfillment helping others find their purpose. Purpose keeps us humble. It’s what pulls us outside of our own little world and forces us to care about other people. Loneliness doesn’t get cured by following influencers. Insecurity doesn’t get healed by thinking you’re better than everyone else.
Empty souls won’t feel full until they learn to feel comfortable with who they are. The strongest people aren’t always the loudest. They aren’t always the most famous or the most feared. The strongest people are the ones who can look in the mirror, accept who they are, genuinely love others, and still maintain their character in a world that wants you to do otherwise. That’s the real super power. Homelander wanted to be called GOD, but he was nothing more than a man running from his loneliness.
Until we learn to accept ourselves, connect with people, and find purpose outside of ourselves, we will continue to chase external validation that never satisfies. Inside every “ superhero” is a human being. A beautiful complex human being that’s way too valuable to spend their life seeking validation from others. True strength comes from being secure in who you are when no one is around to tell you that you’re great. No one knows how powerful you are. But you do.
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